It's 3 a.m. and I must be lonely

We have a prospie coming to spend the night tomorrow (today), and I have suddenly evolved into a mad cleaning lady. I believe I spent at least ten minutes cleaning out the microwave. (And it did indeed require ten minutes of cleaning because I failed to put a paper towel over the bowl of black bean soup I heated a couple of days ago. Talk about crap inside your microwave.) I put away the skillet and the toaster oven, cleaned the counters, swept the floors, washed the water-collecting portion of the dishrack (the brown spots were, unfortunately, mold and not food--glad that's gone), swept my bedroom, organized the bottom of my closet, cleaned up the miscellanous papers on my desk, updated all of my dry erase boards, threw a knife in the paper bag I'm taking to help set up the newspaper Christmas party tomorrow, and just generally made everything look better. I wasn't able to vacuum, which was immensely unsatisfying, but I'll get to that tomorrow. I'm skipping my last day of Core, which may or may not spare me the pain of receiving my test grade (I doubt this).

I'm glad that Christmas break is almost here; it was very nice to get away for Thanksgiving and realize all of my hangups about my ex are indeed a result of being in the same space as she is and not any weird, obsessive attitude I have towards her in general. Our relationship seems like it was quite a long time ago, but the time we spent in each other's company after that isn't quite so distant. So I'm still slogging through this, but I think the end is in sight. (After all, graduation is only five months away.) I'm putting my self-sufficient, independent, single hard hat on this dating business. Women are kinda bitches.

I'm also thinking a lot about Portland, but such a move is hugely impractical, particularly if I were to live here for real, off campus. I would essentially buy a lot of stuff and end up selling it two years later. So maybe chilling at the dorms for a little while isn't so bad. I believe I may apply for an RA position again, but we'll see how that goes. I'm reluctant to try again because I have already been rejected once, and I don't particularly like who's running the show, but I am all about free living. Plus, I really would like to be an RA. Mine helped me out last year a lot, and the rooms are sah-weet. I just cannot live in my current building again. I'd rather live in freshman housing.

And I don't know quite what I want to do when I get out of here, either. That scares me. I think that's why I've been so obsessed with housing on Craigslist lately; a) I do indeed get things stuck in my craw and b) I'm anxious about my ability to make a living. But I know I can do it, even if it's not my ideal job. I've always been afraid that I wouldn't be able to provide for myself, but that fear is fading away more and more. I'm ridiculously independent and am not afraid of working a lot. (When you work more you have less time to spend the money you make... true story.)

I have inductions on Sunday and a few more signatures to get, but the end is definitely in sight. I might be able to get three of the ones I need tomorrow and then I'll just have two to grab before Sunday chapter. Lovely.

My goal is to live a low-drama life currently. I have found that I can accomplish this by a) staying away from sororities and b) surrounding myself with low/no-drama people. This stratgedy works fucking wonders.

In other news, I had my birth control removed and have not morphed into a crazy bitch, which is lovely. We have Editor-in-Chief interviews next week, and while I think that we are the logical choice since we simply have more experience, I am worried and am going to go over the game plan with RG. We talk endlessly about what we can do to improve the paper, so I think we'll suceed in that as well, but originally only one other girl applied, and now two have. They are co-editors like we are. RG and I will fight if necessary--we are a formidable twosome--but I'd rather not resort to violence. We make an excellent team.

I am fairly certain my grades will be as follows: A, A, A-, and... I am not sure about this fourth grade and that doesn't make me a happy camper. Right now it's an A-, but God knows what I made on this past test. Probably a -30.

Speaking of grades, I am seriously considering taking a year off between undergrad and grad school. At first I thought that was silly, but I no longer believe that. I will see how I feel between subsequent semesters, but that is seeming like a more realistic possiblity.

I am tired and my tummy is in constant revolt against me. (My fault for the kale and beans.) We'll see how this spring goes.

Also I am officially not a teenager in a month.